It is the morning after the night before. Barely 24 hours on from events in Bilbao and I'm struggling to make sense of it all.
What has become of the club I've loved since I first set eyes on it at six years old? It was not supposed to be like this. We were not supposed to go this low. I didn't think it could get any worse last season when we finished eighth. This is not the club I fell in love with attending that first game with my uncle almost three decades ago. I've never felt more dispirited or disconnected. To be honest, I'm at the point where I don't really care any more.
Of course, as a fan you have to take the thick with the thin and there are, ultimately, bigger things in life than a team losing a game of football.
Bleak days ahead for Man Utd
But this seems and feels like so much more. So much worse than that. A team can lose finals, of course, and Gdansk in 2021 hurt. But at least then there was a fillip - we were unlucky to lose to Villarreal in that final and had a decent domestic season. We had the cushion of European football the next season and were going in the right direction. It stung but we could see a way forward.
Four years on and this defeat to the Hotspurs of Tottenham - a club infamous for its allergy to silverware - hurts like nothing I've ever had before. It will sting for the next few weeks and into the summer. I will still be hurting when next season's European competitions kick off without United. Even if we had stunk the gaff out in the Champions League, the financial benefits alone would have been worthwhile.
Instead, we are left with nothing. No European football, no Viktor Gyokeres or Rayan Cherki. Inflated ticket prices and the prospect of all our rivals strengthening whilst we get weaker. This is bleak, ladies and gents. It's very bleak. I can't see how we improve for next season. I don't expect us to be anywhere near the top half of the Premier League again in 2025-26 either. Who would have thought we'd be here when Erik ten Hag was sacked. Since then, United have collected only 28 points, slipped to 16th in the league with ten wins and lost a make of break European final to Spurs.
These players will go down in infamy
The initial grief and shock has come and gone, and my sadness has turned to rage. I'm absolutely furious this has been allowed to happen. My anger towards the Glazers, bubbling beneath the surface for 20 years, has now reached boiling point. This is all their fault. They got the club into this mess through criminal negligence and financial mismanagement. I'm fuming at the players for binning the league off to win this competition then turning in the most apathetic, anodyne and arrythmic showing I've ever seen from any side in a major final. The final criminal act of negligence in a season of infamy. This squad will forever be remembered as the United side that resided over our worst season in living memory and lost to Tottenham in a final.
A touch over 17,000 Reds spent thousands of pounds in getting to Bilbao - some without tickets or beds - taking the proverbial trains, planes and automobiles for one of the biggest matches in United's history. That performance was an insult, a disgrace, to every single one of those fans who made the journey. at great personal cost and expense. The players on the field never came close to matching the fans passion, energy and dedication. The 'Bilbao or bust' tightrope spun from United's grasp at the final hurdle. As the minutes ticked down and United fought against the sying of the light, I never like we were going to score.
Reds miss out on continental feast
United will be without European football of any kind in a season for only the second time in my life. The last time was 2014-15 under Louis van Gaal - before then it was 1989/90 in the fledgling early days of Alex Ferguson. Fans, players and coaching staff will have to adapt to the new reality of playing oen game a week.
The counter argument is no European football might actually help: it's not like we were going to win it and, now, Ruben Amorim can spend more time fine tuning his methods in training. But there are also significant drawbacks - the lack of 'pull' when approaching new potential new signings, far less TV, broadcast and commercial revenue and an escalation of our already dire financial situation.
There needs to be clarity from the club now. Where do we go from here? What is the INEOS vision for the summer? What does the future look like? There will be sales - Alejandro Garnacho and Rasmus Hojlund will likely leave and don't rule out Bruno Fernandes going either.
United need a better attack, a better goalkeeper with Andre Onana still not convincing two seasons in, and better options at wing-back. I admire Amorim's brutal honesty, but he is a struggling employee who needs clarification and support from those above and around him.
It's a Heartache
United are hurtling headlong towards financial and footballing oblivion and everyone seems powerless to prevent it. It will be tough to take as we step out into the wilderness and many years in the doldrums before the beast stirs again. Often, the only way out of situations like this is to simply plough on through.
This is a harsh lesson: no one is above rebuke, no one is above the fickle hand of complacency and misalignment. What we're seeing and living through is the culmination of two decades worth of treachery, negligence and abhorrent decision making at every turn.
It is both apt and painfully ironic Amorim is serenaded with our own terrace take of the Bonnie Tyler hit 'It's a Heartache'. Right now, our hearts certainly are breaking at the state of our beloved football club. As for Amorim bringing the glory days again.... that, too, looks a long long way in the future.
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