Louis van Gaal, the supposed tactical genius, couldn't look further away from that right now.
His thinking is muddled, his decisions simply bizarre, his recruitment questionable and his tactics bordering on suicidal.
It seems to me as though the players are living in fear - that any mistakes they make will be noted down on that infamous clipboard, that Van Gaal will pillory them in public as a consequence and that a season on the bench beckons.
Van Gaal is not allowing any freedom for the players to express themselves and look no further than Ander Herrera as an example.
Granted he's injured at the moment but even when fully fit van Gaal does not seem convinced by him despite him being our most creative and popular playmaker.
Why did Angel Di Maria start so well and then recede to such an extent that he left after just one season?
I suspect it's less to do with the break-in than having to play six different positions while never being told what his actual role would be.
Javier Hernandez has ten goals in 13 games for Leverkusen this season, James Wilson has two in two for Brighton and Adnan Januzaj is starring for Dortmund, so what was Van Gaal thinking in letting these three players go?
Promoting youth players is important at United and to his credit this is something the manager has done - but mainly only because his head-scratching transfer policy has left him with no choice with such a small squad.
Using Nick Powell as a get out of jail card is bad enough but of his signings, none have really excelled (Ander Herrera and Luke Shaw both have but they came before he arrived).
It's all well and good completing a vast overhaul of the squad, but if the manager himself does not have a plan, a system or a shape for the squad then how are the players expected to flourish.
His much feted philosophy seems non-existent: indeed, you only have to look at Bournemouth to see a hungry, youthful side who run through brick walls for their equally hard-working and visionary young manager.
It would be good if van Gaal was to put down his clipboard and get on the touchline to give the players some guidance and direction - or, at the very least, let Giggsy do it.
At least then, we might see some passion, some flair, some desire and some energy because at the moment the team are going nowhere and something needs to change.